How To Build Hope in a Dismal World

Sharing what's helped me do so, plus a mind changing riddle I need your help solving

As we stepped into this fresh new year, we barely felt the light of the moon on our faces, the optimism of a fresh new start to try again in achieving great things that would be shining for days with our chance to paint our intentions into reality, to chase after goals with unwavering determination, and to create a year reclaiming what we may feel we have lost this past year, into one that truly reflects the best version of ourselves. Yet barely three weeks in, we have already been in what might appear like an apocalyptic era, with parts of the country being consumed by fire, leaving it looking like a desolate place. But my friends, just like when we trip or fall, we quickly get up, dust ourselves off, and keep going; sometimes, we might stop and examine our shoes to see if we perhaps need to wear a better pair that won’t make us trip the next time. Similarly, let’s not linger on these negative things. Instead, let’s gather ourselves and remember this: "If you can't fly, then run, if you can't run, then walk, if you can't walk, then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward." – Martin Luther King Jr. It’s by no means an easy thing to do when your head is in a spiral, feeling unhinged and in a state of shock. Which is why I appreciate what William Arthur Ward says, “The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.”

However, if you’re anything like me, there’s nothing that enrages me more while I’m feeling overwhelmingly numb with sadness when going through trials than someone tells me to think positively. My immediate thoughts often when I hear those thoughtless words uttered to me in place of empathy are, “Who doesn’t want to think positively?” and, “It’s because it’s not happening to you personally. That’s why it’s easy for you to tell me to think positively. If I were to dole back to you this same “think positively” advice during your most difficult times, would it suffice for you? Would it uplift and make you feel seen, heard, and comforted?”

Hence, I want to assure you that this post is not here to callously push that dopy ‘pie-in-the-sky,’ denying the truth optimism, with its insipid belief that we will get whatever we want or that every little thing will work out just fine delusions. The converse is true. Instead, it’s an empathetic, encouraging nudge to tell you not to give up and specific ways to build hope in a dismal world. A process that goes beyond being passively optimistic without taking action to make those optimistic outcomes happen. We can build hope by doing something every day that gives our lives meaning, even if it’s just one small step a day.

It has been said that a recipe for becoming depressed is helplessness plus hopelessness. But we can definitely remove one of those ingredients; none of us have to be hopeless. And hope itself may be the best weapon to ward off the other ingredient, feelings of helplessness. If we have hope, we may endure life’s storms with a measure of calm and contentment instead of struggling along in abject misery.

This brings me to a perspective-altering riddle I heard many years ago at a convention: “There were two families. Both were very poor. It was raining hard, and the roofs of both houses were leaking. One family was very sad, and they did a lot of complaining about the leaks. But the other family was happy and pleasant while patching their roof. Why so much difference between these two families?”

Did you figure out why? If not, read on simply because the lesson is eye-opening.