The Art of Staying Steady When Emotions Take the Wheel

Ways to regain control and find your calm again.

Haven’t you noticed that no matter how hard you try to cultivate a peaceful, calm life, something or someone always seems to come along to challenge it? Maybe it’s the neighbor who thrives on confrontation, the reckless/lawless driver who nearly clips your car only to stop at the red light ahead, or even someone you live with who, in their own frustration, leaves no room for grace.

These moments can stir up frustration, irritation, and even anger at times, but holding onto those feelings doesn’t serve us. So, how do we let them go quickly, reclaim control, and find our calm again?

As I get older, protecting my peace has become more crucial for me than ever. It’s no longer just about avoiding stressful situations—it’s about staying grounded in a calm mindset and spirit that isn’t easily discombobulated. Don’t get me wrong, and I mean, who are we kidding? Life will always throw us curveballs, distractions, frustrations, and unexpected waves. Negative emotions are like potholes on the road of life, sudden, unexpected, jarring, and sometimes unavoidable. But just like with potholes, the better we learn to recognize them and adjust our course, the less impact they have and the less damage we do.

So, the question then becomes: how do we release what unsettles us quickly? How can we master the art of staying grounded when emotions take the wheel, regain our footing, and find our way back to calm without spiraling out of control every time negative situations throw us off?

I love these three simple strategies for managing negative emotions and protecting our peace of mind. They’re simple and effective IF we work at training our brains to apply them:

1. Label The Negative Emotions

Instead of getting caught up in them, recognize them and identify the cause: Ask yourself, “What triggered this emotion?” Try to pinpoint the exact feeling. Are you frustrated? Disappointed? Overwhelmed? The more specific you are, the easier it is to address. Understanding the source helps you process it rather than letting it linger unchecked.

2. Redirect Your Focus and Replace the Negative Emotions

Shift your attention to something tangible… your breath, the feeling of your feet on the ground, or an object in front of you. This helps bring you back to the present moment. Replace the thought with something more helpful. This might be a self-affirmation or mantra that helps keep you feeling optimistic and focused.

3. Separate Yourself from the Negative Emotions

Instead of saying “I’m angry,” try “I’m feeling angry.” This small shift reminds you that emotions are temporary and don’t define you. It gives you just enough distance to witness the emotion, rather than be consumed by it.

4. Write It Down: Your Journal Is Your Emotional GPS

Journaling is more than a diary entry. It’s a tool for reflection, pattern-tracking, and emotional release.

Start with these prompts:

• What emotion am I feeling right now?

• What triggered this emotion?

• What thoughts am I having?

• What can I do differently next time?

When you write down your emotions, you separate them from your identity. You begin to see them as visitors rather than permanent residents. Over time, your journal becomes a roadmap, helping you understand what triggers your emotions and how to manage them more effectively.

To help you put these tools into practice, I’ve included a printable emotional tracker for you to use on a weekly basis. Claim it below: